By Laura Buckley, Primary Care Network Pharmacist

They say that sometimes the loneliest people in the world are those who sit in crowds that don’t understand them. They also say that, as pharmacists, we should ‘make the patient our first concern’. But what happens when our concern for ourselves is so neglected that we cease to be effective as pharmacists, or indeed as functioning people? What happens when we find ourselves lonely in the crowd, ineffective, and so lacking in self-compassion that we no longer respect our worth, and our only focus is on survival? When does it become less fight and more flight?

An unexpected turn in my career

As a pharmacist, I expected to work hard and be rewarded with a positive career that I could take immense pride in. When circumstances meant that my career took a turn that I had not foreseen, nor planned for, I found myself steeped in anxiety and sinking lower in mood as each day in role passed by. Terrified that people would see my perceived failings, I wore a façade to face each day, quietly pretending that everything was ‘just fine’. And while the mask was, for a time, convincing, my drop in self-confidence spread like a plague to other areas of my life and I no longer considered myself to be a good person, let alone a good pharmacist.

The value of finding support through a professional network

A few months prior to the decline in my circumstances, I had been fortunate enough to join a professional network and develop a number of connections with colleagues across pharmacy through social media. And while it took me longer than I would have liked, working up the courage to finally say, ‘I’m struggling’ was the turning point I needed, and a trigger for finding myself surrounded by compassion and understanding. Suddenly, my future didn’t look quite so bleak, and my days of being lonely in a crowd were gone.

While the months to years that followed were not easy (and I am still to this day recovering from my experiences), they were most certainly easier knowing that I had found what I like to call, ‘my people’. I could get through the tough days knowing that I had colleagues (even hundreds of miles away) who I could ask for advice without judgement or slammed doors, and it was quite the relief. After many months of fear, I had found safety; I was swept up and supported as we all ought to be in pharmacy.

It most certainly would not be a stretch to say that I owe my continued registration to a number of incredible people and organisations who were willing to listen and guide me in times when things were bleak. I firmly believe that it is possible to be surrounded by a team in the workplace and yet still feel lonely and misunderstood. It is possible to be at any point in your career and still face difficulty and feel shame; whether a seasoned pharmacist or a trainee trying to fit in, we all know what it means to struggle. But if there’s anything I would recommend as more important than any CPD, it is to join a professional network.

They say that loneliness is not the absence of people, but the absence of shared connection and understanding. Whatever stage in your career you find yourself in, make sure you too have a crowd that doesn’t leave you lonely but instead nourishes your wellbeing.

Visit our Pharmacy Guide on Wellbeing webpage to find out how we can support you and explore Pharmacist Support resources.

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